by Harriet Bond
(San Francisco, CA, USA)
If you are bothering to read this, chances are we know why and don’t worry, you are absolutely not alone. How often do men strike up relationships with women in the office? The truth is, pretty often. Need some help understanding why and what to do about it? Read on.
Why They’re So Close
We spend most of our waking life at work. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week we are forced to be in close proximity with a group of other people who all have something in common with us. When you are working in a department with a smaller group, the search becomes even more specific and we forge bonds over these commonalities, not so?. So it makes perfect sense that from this environment would stem some wonderful and lasting relationships as well as some difficult ones. Your partner is developing a bond with the people he works with which is healthy and natural. However, there are some cases in which it could become problematic.
Sometimes it Comes from Her Side
There will be times when your partner is prey to unwanted attention from someone who works with him in the office. In these instances it is not his fault and really has nothing to do with him. His only responsibility is to communicate it to you and be sure not to react to her advances. But beyond that his only defense is to clearly indicate to her that he is with someone and unavailable.
Usually when a man makes this clear, the other woman will back down. The problem comes in when men revel in the attention and will lead that woman on to satisfy their own needs. Remember, he’s only human which is why it’s so important that the two of you remain open and honest with one another. If he hasn’t cheated in the past the likelihood is that he won’t be quick to compromise your relationship.
What to Do
Talk to him about work. The more open you are about this facet of your life, the more exposed it will feel but also communicating can help prevent his other relationships from becoming unhealthy. Give him the benefit of the doubt. After all, we are all innocent until proven guilty right? Yes, it’s possible that something sinister is developing here but at the same time, it could be your own insecurity that is clouding your judgment and the possibility does exist that there is nothing going on.
You could also try the technique of coming out and asking about this woman. Is something developing? DO you have anything to be concerned about or should the two of you talk it out. Try to stay calm while doing this. You know him and you may be able to tell if he is being truthful. In the same breath, if it’s a pressing feeling that you just can’t shake, trust your gut. There may be more going on than even he realizes and then it’s time to formulate a plan.