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What is life about?, Being happy of course!
Lifelong happiness – starting right now.
If it feels like the world is beating you up and there is not enough happiness in your life – or you are just too exhausted to feel happy – read on.
This may be hard to believe, and you most likely won’t want to believe it but…..You ARE HAPPY – right now, you just don’t know it or simply don’t know how to tap into that deep down undercurrent of pure Joy and Pleasure that is flowing through you right now.
Your level of happiness and contentment all depends on what you define as “being happy” and what it “takes” to make you feel happy in your world.
If you let life’s events totally distract you from your “natural” state of happiness, or you have created so many criteria to fill that narrows down your chances to let happiness surface to your emotional attention you are doomed to a state of dissatisfaction.
The self help strategies are here, based on your power to think and create a powerful desire for change in your life for the better…as long as you really desire the change for the better!.
Especially when you are in a genuine slump, or seduced by the emotion of depression, you need to draw on every self help resource you have available to pull your attention away from what is “wrong” in your life and magnetically pull your emotional attention toward what is already “right” in your life. Develop appreciation of the good you desire and already have.
The choice to take action or not to take action is up to you.
You might look at the following strategy and think “Oh No! Not more of this simplistic – quick fix – nonsense”. Please don’t discard this powerful concept just because it is so SIMPLE.
Simple doesn’t always mean EASY. You have to apply yourself – consistently – with a genuine desire to improve your emotional well being, THEN you will get powerful results.
Go on – Try this straightforward self help exercise – answer the questions and notice how you feel when you think about the answers……
“What am I most enjoying in my life right now?”
(as Tony says, don’t say “nothing!” Instead ask yourself “If I could be enjoying something in my life right now, what would that be?”)
Then ask yourself:
“What about that do I enjoy?”
Then ask yourself:
“How does that make me feel?”
Then next ask yourself:
“What am I most happy about in my life right now?”
Then ask yourself:
“What about that makes me feel happy?”
Notice how your emotions react to the experience of dwelling or thinking about the good and sweet things in your life. If you like the feeling and want more of it, just keep asking yourself the right questions.
Any self help tool, no matter how powerful, only works when you work it.
Also sometimes the “essence” of certain events or tangible things can be more important to how we feel than actually having more of exactly the same thing.
You don’t need to own a horse to ride one. You especially don’t need 6 horses to ride for the same experience that riding one can give you. You don’t have to own a countryside retreat to have a picnic in the countryside. You don’t even have to own a Ferrari to drive one.
There are many ways available to get the essence of what you want, that makes you feel happy. More self help on that later….
When you start each day asking yourself questions that generate a feeling of pleasure, excitement, enthusiasm, just by the act of answering them, your day gets off on the right path.
Try designing self help questions that suit your life or interests, maybe straightforward ones like
What am I excited about in my life now?
What am I grateful about in my life now?
What am I most looking forward to in my life today?
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to apply this self help strategy, do you? All you need is the DESIRE to improve your day and then make the commitment to actually APPLY it every morning for at least 30 days. It will work.
More self help strategies are outlined in the general categories on the navbar. We have had to break up the sheer volume of self help resources into some general self help categories to simplify the search for resources relevant to your self help needs and to save you time when you download the pages to view.
You will no doubt “fit the bill” for at least 3 categories, so dip into all or as many of the categories as suits you at any given time. You might be a stressed out single person, who is also a parent or prime caregiver, who has a career or enterprise to manage – but today your question is how to be happier in your role as a Parent.
Tomorrow it might be checking out self help strategies as a single person with issues relating to the fact you are “flying solo” in life. And so on….
Be Flexible: “Rest your frayed nerves & tired body
Before you do anything else about developing further happiness in your life, check on how much restful sleep you are getting. Lack of sleep = leads to = exhaustion = which leads to = depression.
If you feel sad or unhappy, first ask if you have had enough restful sleep. (Don’t you dare laugh at me for even suggesting the very thought of enough sleep). The fact is that you simply can’t expect to be bouncing off the walls with energy, enthusiasm and sheer joy for life if you can barely put one foot in front of the other and don’t dare to sit down in case you fall asleep.
Restful sleep is a non-negotiable self help priority if you truly desire happiness in your life. Recognize that you must re-arrange your life, work, responsibilities, socializing to allow for you to get adequate sleep.
No strategy in the world will work for long to make your life happier if you are chronically exhausted. End of story.
Get creative, there is a way for you to be rested and happy.
And before you go to sleep ask yourself questions to calm your mind and spirit and appreciate something wonderful about the day you have just had, like:
“What was the most beautiful thing I saw today?” Or have a picture and emotion that you dwell on before you sleep, that relaxes you enough to stop distracting thoughts from keeping you awake. More self help on this later…
Relationships: “Friends, Family & Relationships!”
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone….”
Sadness can sometimes mean loneliness too. Depression can be so seductive to your mind and body, that you just want to soak in it for a while on your own, not letting anyone else into your life, refusing their efforts to help you.
But it is essential that you make an effort to communicate to your loved ones, or you may isolate yourself from all help and unconditional support, just when you most need it.
If you feel that you are truly totally alone in the world, with no one who could possibly relate to your issues, or give unbiased support, then call on a professional. Or join a discussion group and share your experiences and learn about other people’s self help strategies in dealing with their problems.
If the cost is an issue, check out your local council or municipality for “community health services” and you should be able to get in contact with professionals at no cost to you. Just do it – find a way.
The very act of simply talking it through with someone, even a total stranger, sometimes helps us to come up with the answers we needed on how to cope and what to do next.
You may even find that someone else can give you the moral support you need to be able to take the steps you secretly know you need to take but just don’t feel confident in your own courage or judgment right now.
Most importantly, know that you are loved. Someone, somewhere, is thinking about you right now with love in their heart. You are only alone for as long as you choose to be.
Once again, look to the relevant self help navbar category for more specific strategies for your particular needs. But above all, never isolate yourself for very long. Talk to someone.
Let others help you to be strong and find happiness in your life again.
Self Image: “Self Image and how you feel about everything in your life!”
“Go on, you deserve it!” How often have you been told that, but not felt it was true for you? Do you more comfortably accept the more unpleasant, unrewarding things that life can sometimes offer you? “What did I expect, this is what I deserve after all”.
What your expectations of life are will be based directly on what you believe about yourself and your self image.
Sorry, but there is no magic tooth fairy to wave her wand and make more than you expect appear in your life. Life will continue to give you what you expect it will and that you feel you deserve, or is appropriate for you. You will stay in that comfort zone for as long as you maintain that set of beliefs.
One definition of insanity is to continue doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result each time.
Your self image gives you the broad road map of what you will do, give, create, have and be in your lifetime. Change your beliefs about yourself and you change your expectations. You will soon grow too big for the kinder-garden tables and chairs and start to expect that life will provide grown up size furniture for the new more powerful you.
The better you feel about yourself, the better life will treat you. The more you raise your expectations of what will be in your life, the more that will be offered to you.
The higher you raise your beliefs about your ability, self worth, value to the community, attractiveness to other people, and your power to take action – the better your results will be in life, and you will definitely be happier, because you expect to be happy, of course!
Settle for nothing less than your best. More Power to you – go for it with a vengeance!
Appearance does matter when it comes to being happy
“But beauty is only skin deep!” I hear you snort at me. Appearance and grooming may be considered a painfully superficial subject for important issues in life.
But it’s true. When you look good, you feel better.
When you look great – and have a “good hair” day – you feel much happier than when you look in the mirror and wonder who that wretched creature is staring back at you. It matters.
Make the time to discover the things that would make you feel good about your appearance. Create a Discovery Journal with cut outs of clothes, hairstyles, shoes, makeup, jewelry or accessories that could make you feel special.
Invest in one exotic, expensive tie or scarf that makes you feel “rich and famous” when you wear it, especially if you move in circles that know the designer labels and actually care if you are fashionable or not. (If you don’t care, why are you mixing with those people in the first place?)
Look at pictures and shop around until you find one outfit or suit or even only a jacket that is a timeless classic, comfortable, will last forever, and is your standby for any important occasion, or to mix and match with your normal “work” outfits.
If you’re on a budget and need work outfits, invest in the same color articles. Theme your clothes for basic classic black, or navy, or grey, or mule/camel. They wear well, and don’t show dirt the instant you put them on.
Then if you are a fashion victim, you can add one accessory or shirt in this season’s fashion (even if it is lime green and orange – I remember that year), without having to throw out your entire wardrobe.
Just keep building your wardrobe in the same tones and you will end up with a wardrobe of classic designs, with fashion label items building each year. And keep your clothes forever, because the fashions are recycled in monotonous, predictable ways.
If you hated them in the seventies, you have really been loathing the past few years….now where did I put those midriff baring, body hugging blouses from the 1970’s again? Get ready for the big hair and shoulder pads from the ‘80’s ‘cos they’re on their way.
Try out the perfumes or aftershaves at the store counters until you find one that you find personally pleasing. If it’s what you would consider expensive, buy a small bottle and use it sparingly.
Please don’t ever use cheap and nasty scents, even if your loved ones gave them to you.
You won’t feel happy and neither will the other people around you. Go classic or go scentless. Besides, if you let everyone who cares about you know the brand you want, they will make sure you always get a supply on your birthdays and you will probably never have to buy one yourself again.
When going to an important event, don’t wear new clothes or shoes for the first time ever. Try them out, get comfortable in them. If they are not comfortable for any reason – don’t wear them on the special day, or you will be miserable and unhappy.
If it is a job interview, you need to be totally confident and comfortable otherwise your prospective employers will interpret your physical pain as being uncomfortable about the job and the interview.
Also please don’t get a dramatically different haircut the day before your special event. It will grow out if it’s a disaster, but knowing that won’t make your special day any happier at the time. Same for makeup, don’t be radical without plenty of practice, the result can be tragic for all parties to see.
Most important of all about your appearance is your smile. Wear it often and proudly. You will naturally appear more cheerful, people will be more pleasant around you, and when you smile your physiology forces you to feel happier, despite yourself. Try it out for yourself if you don’t believe it. Told you so….
Sense of Purpose: “Sense of Purpose = Happiness”
Why do you get out of bed in the morning? From a sense of duty, or from enthusiasm for what the day ahead holds for you?
Getting up and going to “work” each day without a sense of purpose, a picture of something bigger than yourself, is a lifetime of slavery.
“Working to pay the bills” is no reason to live your life!
Remember back to the last time you woke up and didn’t notice feeling sleepy or tired, because you were out of bed and running, because you just couldn’t wait to get started?
Go on, keep thinking until you can recall that morning……… Remember the last time you didn’t notice you were still working at 3 am, because you just felt so good, everything just flowed, you were in the zone, your energy and enthusiasm just wouldn’t run out?
Go on, keep thinking, because you have had such a day….. You felt like Superman, or at least a Superstar. You could do no wrong….Everything you needed to get the job done just flowed in to you…You either felt soft, warm and fuzzy, flowing with contentment – or – you were ready to simply burst with enthusiasm.
Let’s work on getting that state of emotion into your life on a daily basis. Sure, not every single solitary day will be like that for the rest of your life, but don’t you simply want more of them than you have been experiencing lately?
Like anything, take it one step at a time, develop your genuine sense of Purpose or life Destiny path – and be happy.
There are resources on our site that will get you inspired about your life and what you have to contribute to your world and your community. You are here for a very important reason.
You have a valuable contribution to make that only unique you can make. You are one of a kind, so unleash yourself onto life and all it has to offer you. Take no prisoners. Build the castles. Slay the dragons.
Work only toward the dreams you have designed and the lifestyle you have crafted for yourself and your loved ones.
Recreation: “Plan for time off – take a break for your sanity and happiness”
We all have different roles to play and responsibilities we choose to meet. To feel refreshed and enthusiastic again about them, we sometimes need some time away from even the things we love to do.
There is a way, be creative about finding out how you can retreat from the fray and recharge your batteries.
You simply can’t take care of others until you start to take care of yourself first. This is not an essential item for your happiness, but it sure helps.
Remember that life will sometimes hand you a delightful, smiling baby to hold – and just as you start to mellow to the concept, you notice the smell from the fouled nappy.
Most of us would go pale at the thought of dealing with such a horrific thing. Yet a parent wouldn’t miss a beat – or a meal- about cleaning the steaming mess and getting on with enjoying to the fullest the miracle of having a baby in their life.
One goes with the other. Roses have sharp thorns; babies have soiled nappies, so – that pile of steaming horse manure on your front lawn might just mean that someone has just given you a horse.
Your glass is either half full or half empty – it’s up to you to make the most of what life is offering you. Make your life Happy at least.
– Helene Malmsio
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Over 30 years of personal and professional development has produced a powerful site with over 1000 free self help resources for your greater Happiness, Health and Prosperity, at personal enterprise self help resources